This conversation was catalyzed by a conversation with a couple of other ToP facilitators in this month’s ToP Community of Practice meeting about how in current times it is challenging to have conversations about anything because people cannot agree on whether something is objective data or not. Arguments break out before a conversation can even start. The question was how to have these important conversations to begin to address polarization. 

The conversation was also triggered by reflection on a set of “kitchen table” conversations I posted here on March 23, 2025.  I decided that there needed to be an update on these conversations given what has happened in the past year.  

I have written this for a small group, but it is equally helpful for a conversation with one’s self.

Preparation: Find an article or a short video clip for the tangible beginning point. For this conversation to work, it is very important that the starting point is something brief and on topic that everyone in the group can see or hear.

It is important to start with the Working Assumptions to create a space where people can listen to each other’s answers before reacting to them.  (See post from Feb. 5, 2026)

Rational Aim:  To discern the meaning of current events or posts. (Consensus is not necessary.

Experiential Aim: To decrease anxiety and to ground external reports in real life

Opening:  Tangible Beginning Point:

We will start with an article (or a short video clip) from the news. Take a few minutes to read or watch it.

Objective Level: What is a word or phrase you saw in this article (Or saw or heard in this clip)? 

Just quote the word or phrase you actually saw or heard.  

Somebody else — a different one that you actually saw or heard?

Reflective Level:  What is a personal experience you have had of this or a situation like this — not what others say or tell you, but your own experience.

Someone else – your own personal experience?

What is your gut level reaction to the situation?

Someone else?

Interpretive Level: Why do you think is behind your reaction? Or Why do you think you reacted this way?

Someone else?

What historical events might help us understand this event?

What might be the significance (or meaning, or impact) of this event from your perspective?  Short term?  Long term?

Someone else?

Decisional Level: What might we do to respond to this event? Personally?  As a group?

Someone else?

Closing: Thank you for this opportunity to discuss a tough topic.